Before you take that job offer, do this math.

Childcare for a toddler and an infant in most major metro areas now runs between $3,000 and $4,500 a month. That’s before after-school programs, backup care for sick days, summer camps, or the inevitable week in February when your provider is sick and you’re scrambling. (You know the week.)

For a parent earning $70,000 a year, take-home after federal and state taxes lands closer to $4,200 to $4,500 a month, depending on your state. The childcare bill alone can consume most of that before you’ve spent a dollar on anything else.

This is not an argument for staying home. It is an argument for knowing your actual numbers before someone else’s version of “going back to work” becomes your default.

The Calculation Nobody Runs for You

The standard framing goes: both parents work, pool the income, pay for childcare. But most families calculate income before taxes and childcare after taxes. When you adjust for both, the second income frequently nets far less than the gross number implies.

Run this for yourself:

Gross salary, minus federal and state taxes at your marginal rate (the second income in a two-earner household is taxed at the combined household’s marginal rate — check the current IRS tax brackets here), minus childcare costs, minus commuting (gas, tolls, parking, transit — add it up honestly), minus the convenience and outsourcing spending that reliably goes up when both parents are stretched thin.

For many families earning between $60,000 and $90,000, the net monthly income from returning to work full time lands between $500 and $1,200. That number is not wrong. It’s just the number nobody shows you before you accept the offer.

If you want a tool to run these numbers clearly, YNAB (You Need a Budget) is the most family-friendly budgeting tool we’ve found for exactly this kind of scenario planning.

What the 2025 Data Showed

According to a 2025 KPMG report titled “The Great Exit,” labor force participation among mothers with children under five dropped nearly three percentage points in the first half of 2025 alone — reaching its lowest point in over three years. This coincided with a near-doubling of full-time return-to-office mandates among Fortune 500 companies.

This wasn’t a choice women made lightly. The combination of rigid schedules, record childcare costs, and the mental load of managing both without support pushed the math past the breaking point.

The Bureau of Labor Statistics confirms the trend: women with young children represent the sharpest drop in labor force participation of any demographic group tracked in 2025.

The Calculation That Actually Matters Long-Term

Beyond the monthly math, there is a second calculation: career trajectory over time.

Every year outside the workforce has consequences — on Social Security credits, on retirement contributions, on future earning potential. Research consistently shows that re-entry salary tends to come in lower than exit salary after extended gaps. The financial cost of stepping back is not just the income that stops. It is also the compound growth of retirement funds that don’t get contributed to.

How to Make a Clear Decision

• Calculate your real net take-home using your marginal rate, not your effective rate
• Map the long-term: five years staying, five years with a gap, five years part-time
• Ask your employer about flexibility before assuming none exists — phased return, hybrid, four-day week, job share
• Investigate your Dependent Care FSA — pre-tax dollars for childcare that most parents leave unclaimed
• Check Care.com for backup care options that can bridge the gap on sick days and school closures

The decision about whether and how to return to work is one of the most significant financial choices parents make. Make it with the numbers, not just the feelings.

Share this with your partner before your next conversation about what “going back to work” looks like for your family.

Want to keep this conversation going?

This is one of the most active conversations in our community right now. Parents sharing their actual numbers, their decisions, and what they wish they’d known. Come add yours at facebook.com/groups/parenthoodtogether.

We’re better together.

Parenthood Together — parenthoodtogether.com

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A note before we dive in: The information here is for educational purposes only. Parenthood Together does not provide personalized financial or career advice. Every family’s situation is different — we encourage you to consult with a certified financial planner (CFP) before making major income or career decisions.