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A note before we dive in: Nothing in this article constitutes legal or financial advice. Estate planning needs vary by state and individual circumstance. Before creating or updating any legal documents or financial plans, please consult a licensed estate attorney and a certified financial planner (CFP) who can evaluate your specific situation.

There is a financial event happening right now, and most families are going to miss it.

Over the next 20 years, an estimated $124 trillion in assets will change hands between generations. Analysts are calling it the largest wealth transfer in history. Baby Boomers are passing what they built down to their kids and grandkids, and the families who actually benefit won’t be the ones with the most wealth. They’ll be the ones who had the conversation.

Most families haven’t.

We don’t talk about money with our parents. Not really. We know, vaguely, that there might be something to inherit someday, but asking about it feels too blunt, too greedy, and too much. So we wait. And waiting has a real cost.

What’s Actually at Stake

The average inheritance received by Americans hovers around $46,000, but that number is wildly misleading. While some families are receiving life-changing amounts, others receive nothing, not because there was nothing to give, but because no one ever planned. According to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, millions of families lose assets every year simply due to the absence of basic estate documents.

Estate planning is the step that separates a legacy from a lost asset. Without a will, the state decides what happens to what your parents built. Without a beneficiary designation update, a life insurance policy can go to an ex-spouse. Without a conversation, an adult child can be completely blindsided by debt they didn’t know existed.

These aren’t rare cases. They happen constantly in normal families, with normal amounts of money.

This Conversation Doesn’t Have to Be Awkward

The reason most families avoid it is that we frame the money conversation as being about inheritance, which makes it feel predatory. You’re not asking what you’ll get. You’re asking how you can help.

Start here: “Mom, Dad — I want to make sure we’re all taken care of and that whatever you’ve built doesn’t get lost in the process. Can we sit down and talk through what you have in place?”

What you’re trying to find out:

• Do they have a will? (If not, this is urgent.)
• Do they have an updated beneficiary list on all financial accounts and insurance policies? Wills don’t override beneficiary designations — a detail most people don’t know until it’s too late.
• Is there debt — mortgage, credit cards, medical — that would reduce or eliminate an estate?
• Does anyone have power of attorney in case of incapacity?

None of these questions is about what you’ll get. They are about protecting what your parents worked for.

What You Should Know About Your Own Estate

While we’re here: if you have children and you don’t have a will, stop reading and go make one.

A will isn’t just about assets. It names a guardian for your minor children. Without it, if something happens to both parents, a court decides who raises your kids. Two services that make this easier than ever: Trust & Will lets you create a legally valid will in about 15 minutes for under $200 — and Fabric by Gerber Life combines a free will with life insurance in one place. Neither is a substitute for an attorney in complex situations, but for most families, they are a significant and immediate step forward.

Beyond the will, update the beneficiary designations on every retirement account, life insurance policy, and bank account that allows it. Old designations, such as an ex, a parent who has since passed, create real complications and can override your stated wishes entirely.

If you need life insurance coverage for your family while you’re at it, Policygenius is a solid comparison tool for term life policies across multiple carriers.

The Families Who Benefit

The $124 trillion won’t be evenly distributed. It never is. But the families who receive and retain generational wealth share a common trait: they talk about money while there is still time to plan.

The conversation is uncomfortable for about 15 minutes. The cost of not having it can last generations.

Share this with your partner. Then call your parents.

Want to keep this conversation going?

Thousands of parents are already talking about this inside the Parenthood Together community — how they had the money talk with their own parents, what they discovered, and what they wish they’d done sooner. Come share your story or just read through what others are navigating. We’re at facebook.com/groups/parenthoodtogether.

We’re better together.

Parenthood Together — parenthoodtogether.com

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